Remember coming home after a long day of school and playing till you had to go to sleep, those were the days. Nowadays, if I’m lucky, I can play for maybe 2 hour intervals. This isn’t because I’m a busy adult, I can my important stuff done in the morning. It’s because I feel guilty.
I used to be able to play video games for hours and hours. Now, I can barely play for 2 without stopping. When playing for so long I get struck with this immense guilt. This guilt stems from overthinking, damn you anxiety let me enjoy things. What I begin to think about is how I’m wasting time. So when i continue to play I feel uneasy, this uneasiness goes away when I stop playing. The problem? I don’t want to stop but I physically have to, to feel better. This started happening after high school. It now takes me forever to beat a game. For example, Spider-Man for PS4 took me nearly a month and a half. This wasn’t because of lack of free time, it was the overthinking. Guilt isn’t the only thing that effects my gaming currently. The other thing is how often games get released.
Feeling the need to rush through games
This need comes from the constant release of games, and feeling left out when you’re not playing them. I miss taking my time going through a game. When i could just enjoy what I’m playing without worrying, I know this isn’t a problem that people face but for me its a big deal. Red Dead 2 is a good example of this. The first half of the game I was taking my time and taking in the scenes. Towards the later half of the game I started thinking that I was taking to Log, this lead me to rush to beat the game. I still enjoyed the game, but felt I would have enjoyed more if i took my time. This then leads back to feeling guilty for rushing through a game and not enjoying it fully. Its a vicious cycle that I need to break.
The point of this article is mainly to vent and speak my thoughts. The other point is self reflection. I know this issue of mine seems unimportant to a lot of people. But gaming is such an important part of my life. A parallel would be an athlete injuring themselves. Now the athlete can’t play and enjoy what he loves, similar to how i feel. But what the athlete can do is repair the damage and get better. Which is what I am going to do. Starting next week I will start playing the Witcher 3, a notoriously long game. My goal? Play it without rushing any parts, and take my time while doing this. Throughout this play through I will record my journey through blog posts, to keep anyone interested updated. This will be a long process, and gameplay, and in the end I hope I can break this cycle i developed.
Have you ever rushed through a game and regretted it?